Monahagn and Armagh

Here is the email I sent out after a brief excursion (my first) outside of Dublin.

> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Geoffrey Campey
> To: Almost_evri1
> Date: Tue, 24 Feb 2004 07:23:00 +1100 (EST)
> Subject: It's the little things....
>
> Hello again all,
>
> For those that are in a depressed mood already, you
> might not want to read this email rite now. But for
> everyone else, please bare with me.
>
> I don't know about anyone else, but there are only a
> few times in my life where something has happened and
> at that point, I knew that I would never look at the
> world the same way again. I had one of those
> experiences yesterday.
>
> So, Dublin was filled to the brim with Welsh
> supporters for the 6 Nations (Ireland won! Thats 1-1
> now) so I decided to do the sensible thing - get out
> of town. Not knowing much about Ireland, I decided to
> go and visit some friends I met the weekend before who
> live in Monahagn, up on the border with Northern
> Ireland. I spent Friday nite there, and it was a
> really nice little rural Irish town. Saturday, I
> decided that it was time to dip my toe into the waters
> that are "The North" and headed across the border to
> Armagh. Now the thing that distinguishes Armagh is the
> fact that it is the seat of both Catholic and
> Protestant power in Ireland. Both have pretty
> magnificant Cathedrals (in very contrasting styles,
> pictures to come later). There isn't much about
> Armagh, it is a nice little town. I felt a little
> weird going there to start with; just some things that
> people in Monahagn had said the nite before. But after
> settling into the hostel, and heading out for dinner
> and a couple of drinks, I really enjoyed the place.
> Everyone was really friendly, and (as I have had to do
> many times since arriving) defended my proposition
> that I was "bored of the beach and sunshine in
> Australia".
>
> Now the hostel in Armagh is one of those ones that has
> a lock-out period, as in everyone staying there has to
> leave at 11am and you can't get back in till 5pm. I
> head out at 10:30am to grab some breakfast and wait
> for the bus that came at 12. Now, I don't think I have
> every seen a place that was so deserted on a Sunday
> morning. Sure, it was cold, but there was *no-one*
> around! I think I walked a full twenty minutes without
> seeing another person. Anyway, the best I could do for
> food was service-station snacks, because that was all
> that was open, and I headed down to the bus shelter.
> Arriving at about 11:10am, I settled onto the seat in
> the bus shelter that was really providing that much
> shelter (note to self - purchase hip-flask to provide
> mobile warmth). So after the McCoys Salt and Malt
> Vinager crisps are gone, I settle into the last few
> pages of William (I wrote the stories The Matrix is
> based off) Gibson's "Count Zero". At some point I look
> up to see a black Land Rover driving along the rode
> towards me. Thinking nothing of it, I go back to my
> book. For some reason, I decided to look up as the
> Land Rover passes, only to see that there is wire mesh
> covering all the windows of the vehicle and two guys
> out the top in helmets, fatigues and assault rifles.
> Ok, so I am awake now!
>
> The car passes and I look back down the street to see
> two other black Land Rovers with guys in the top
> following the first down the road, and as the second
> one approaches, I get this really, really bad feeling.
> So when it stops in front of me and the guy hanging
> out the top points his rifle at me, I am starting to
> get a little worried. Now, I have been around soldiers
> with loaded assault rifles before. Dubai, Los Angeles
> and Chicago airports are some examples. But at no time
> has one of the ever been pointed *at* me. So, I am a
> little weirded out right now. It wasn't even like I
> was directing traffic or anything, just sitting there.
>
> So the passenger door opens and a guy gets out,
> similarily garbed in helmet, fatigues and rifle and he
> proceeds to point his rifle at me and ask me what I am
> doing. Now, most of you will know that I am a
> smart-arse. And under normal circumstances, if I were
> sitting in the freezing cold at a bus stop, and
> someone were to ask me what I was doing, I think my
> response would be a look of disbeleif and a simple
> "Waiting for the train mate". Now it may be for some,
> but having two rifles trained on me is not what I
> would consider "normal circumstances". So thankfully
> my brain short-circuted the smart-arse switch in my
> brain and I replied that I was waiting for the bus.
>
> But apparently because I was stupid enough (without
> much choice) to be waiting in the freezing cold for
> more than 40 minutes for the bus, this meant I was
> acting suspicions (I would agree with stupid, but not
> suspicious) and was cause for them to stop, scare the
> sh*t out of me, look at my passport, ask me what I was
> doing in Armagh (thankfully, the "injecting tourist
> dollars into the economy" got short-circuted as well)
> and then go about their business. I must say the
> soldiers "have a good day" was a nice touch, made te
> experience much more warming.
>
> The aftermath - the big issue for me was that if this
> had of happened of Saturday afternoon, before I had
> begun to relax, I don't think it would have weirded me
> out as much as it did. On Saturday, I was expecting
> something like that. On Sunday morning, I wasn't
> prepared for it. I had fallen back into the "all that
> stuff is pretty much over, its just the details that
> are being worked out now" mentality that I had
> developed from being in the Republic. But in some
> ways, I am glad that it happened, because it brought
> to me the reality of the situation for a lot of people
> in Northern Ireland, and others throughout the world.
> It has taken nearly 26 years for someone to point a
> gun at me. Imagine what it would be like if that
> occured all the time, from the earliest times that you
> can remember. How does that screw people's heads up?
>
> Anyway, thanks to those who have read this far, it has
> been very cathartic for me to write this down for you
> all. Now, as a special treat, you all get to laugh at
> my expense. On Monday nite, I went drinking with
> afore-mentioned friends. Not only did I learn the
> valuable lesson that trying to keep with drinking with
> Irish girls is a bad choice, but that arguing with a
> set of stairs is probably a fruitless exercise,
> because the stairs will invariably win. So I have a
> fracture in my left hand and a tasty carpet burn on my
> forehead as a result, and had a Tuesday hangover the
> likes of which <insert your deity of preference> has
> never seen. Go on, have a good chuckle, you will be
> able to see the results soon, I will be launching my
> new website soon, and will proudly display the photo
> for all to see :)
>
> I hope you are all well, and to quickly answer a few
> questions:
>
> 1) No, I still don't have a job
> 2) Yes, Dublin is really that expensive
> 3) Yes, the Guinness does really taste that much
> better
> 4) Yes, Liverpool are playing like toss
> 5) Yes, there was a second gunman at Dealy Plaza
> 6) No, John Kerry did not have an affair with the
> intern
> 7) Yes, I really did leave the beach to come to
> Ireland
>
> Catch you soon,
> Geoffrey
>

Take Me Back to Ireland Geoffrey!