Avoiding Responsibility

For those that haven't noticed, since the last couple of months of uni in 2001 I have stacked of quite a number of extra kilos. This all began when I stopped swimming 10km a week and sat in a chair for two months eating chocolate and drinking coke and coffee in order to finish my Honours thesis.

Since then, the weight has been pretty darn stubborn, what with working 60+ hour weeks whilst in Canberra, then living on €40 a week in Ireland for 18 months (where a gym membership is €75 /month), I really haven't had the opportunity to get back into shape (ok, round is a shape, so I guess technically I am 'in shape'). Now that I am back at uni, I have both the time and the inexpensive gym membership to lose a couple of kilos.

Having been visiting various gyms for the last 15 years (yes I know, I was very naughty starting weight training at 12, but hey, when have I not been naughty!) there are a few things that are common across the gym-going population throughout the world.

In every gym you'll find the guys that feel it necessary to do lots of loud moaning and grunting, making sure that the entire gym are aware that they just completed the last rep of a _really_ heavy set on their biceps, and that they feel that they have accomplished something because of it. You can recognise these guys because they are the ones that are wearing singlet tops or muscle shirts, and spend more time in front of the mirrors than your average Essex-bird on Friday evening.

Then there are the hardcore fitness freaks, these can be both male or female, or one of those quasi-females that you have to take several glances at to make sure that you have go the category right. Thankfully, the 'females' of this group will almost always be wearing lycra bodysuits, and you should be able to tell from the lack of bulges in the groin area (I say should cause sometimes you just can't make out the difference between a 'package' and an overdeveloped quadracep. Maybe thats just me though. Meh). These are the people that during their 'rests' between sets are down on the floor doing crunches, or at the bar doing chin-ups (usually with large weights strapped to them to get a decent level of resistence because they weigh so little). These people are generally nice, friendly people; just a little obsessive.

Then there are the people who are the complete opposite - the ones that have absolutely no idea what they are doing. They have obviously thought 'I don't need to spend the $50 on a trainer to build me a program and show me how to actually do the exercises properly, I'll just figure it out myself. It can't be that hard'. You will usually see these people do about 20 reps at once on one machine, and then move to another, spending an hour at the gym and getting the same workout that they would have got from picking up the tv remote with their left hand instead of their right. The good/bad thing about these people is that they will either give up after two weeks because they aren't 'feeling the burn', or they will do something horribly wrong and do themselves a considerable injury and never set foot inside a gym again.

My favourite of all the people are the 'gym bunnies'. Invariably female (although you do get the occasion guy), they are shod in the seasons hottest gymwear, colour-coordinated with Nike and Adidas logos on every conceivable part of their body. They have their Gatorade, their towel (with requisite logo), and iPod Nano with 'sports' case. The best part is that they are absolutely determined not to break into a sweat. They will usually spend about 3 minutes on the treadmill (walking speed), then hover around the watercooler for about 20 minutes talking to each other. They will then waft past the weight machines on their way to the mats, grab one of those riduclously large exercise balls (what are they all about?!?) and proceed to sit on it for about 10 minutes, back to the watercooler, 3 more minutes on the treadmill, then off home to have a shower after their exhausting workout, will will probably mean they can't lift the cocktail glasses at the overpriced bar they will head to later.

Then there are the vast majority of people, trying to negoitate their way through a decent workout, all the time trying to block their ears from the grunts, not be sickened by the freaks, and dodge amongst the bunnies as they scramble mindless out of your way as you and your sweating figure heads towards the watercooler.

I love the gym. FEEL THE BURN BABY!!!!