Avoiding Responsibility

So it has been an interesting week. My buddy Phil (no, not my brother, thats double 'l') left me in Dublin to go back to sunny Berlin. Now he is basking in the glory of cheap beer and cigarettes. Damn you!

This has left me at somewhat of a loose end until today, and I had three nights to fill all by myself. To fill in the hours, I did what any other man would do - head to the pub.

I don't know whether I have told you, but my local has a reputation as serving some of the finest Guinness to be had in Dublin (yes! I love serendipity!) I haven't spent an overly large number of nights in there, simply for the fact that most of my friends live nowhere near it. But Tuesday night involved a couple of quiet pints to finish the night off after seeing 'Farenheit 9/11' (3 1/2 stars out of 5 before you all ask).

What was supposed to be a quiet couple before retiring turned into a really interesting and heated political discussion. Whilst talking to my neighbor at the bar, the guy on the next stool down (TGOTNSD) overheard our discussion of the 'War on Terror' and decided that it was an open conversation.

Now, I will admit that I have done this on occasion, but I try to be polite in introducing myself to the conversation by saying 'excuse me, are you discussing the advantages of using endohedral fullerenes spins over solid state nuclear spins for creating scaleable quantum processors?' (see here), a conversation topic that gets a pretty good run in most local Irish pubs.

But I am thinking I might change tactics after witnessing the display of TGOTNSD. Rather than politely moving in on the conversation using the method above, he reaches into his pocket, pulls out his wallet, removes a piece of paper, unfolds it and triumpantly slams it onto the bar in front of my conversational partner and loudly declares 'If you can't point to it on the map, then you have no right to talk about their socio-economic position in the world.'

Looking at the piece of paper he has slammed onto the bar, we were sure enough to discover that it was indeed a map of the world. Which appeared to have been folded/refolded many times. Apparently TGOTNSD was a seasoned veteren of this new, startling, and obtrusive introduction technique.

Before I had the chance to give TGOTNSD a serve on saloon etiquette, my fellow conversationalist looked up at the interloper and in a quiet, dignified tone replied 'We were not in fact discussing the socio-economic position of the Afghan population, but rather, the ethno-political ties between Afghani's and the tribespeople of the Waziristan (yes, I had to look up how to spell that) region of Pakistan. Before you try to interrupt my conversation again, please ensure that you know the subject which is being discussed and limit your theatrics to an occasion hand gesture, preferably with your left hand only.'

And then he turned back to me and resumed our conversation. TGOTNSD stood in his place for a moment, the most amusing (well, to me anyway) expression of bewilderment on his face, retrieved his map and left. In doing so, he committed the ultimate sin that can be had in an Irish bar - he left his pint unfinished.

The busy-body's of today. They just aren't what they used to be. I mean, when I was a busy-body, I wouldn't try to interupt a conversation until I had at least urinated on myself twice, hadn't cleaned my teeth in a month and had taken a short bath in cheap whiskey. No one takes the time these days.